*sniff*sniff* My nose hasn't been gd to me for the past 2 days. As bird calls it.. i have the 'dripping syndrome'! The mucus just keeps dripping.. and it's the very watery kind.. very much liek water. It makes me feel like sneezing! But often can't.. so the feeling is not good. With so many things going on i can't afford to be sick! =(

Had bio lect today. Realized that biology is actually quite sexist. There're mother cell, daughter cell and sister chromatid, but no father/son/brother. Hehe.. Wonder why.

Went to TTSH in the morning too. I was quite appalled at the interior of the building cos it looks pretty much like a shopping centre. Nothing like a hospital at all. I was expecting long corridors and a kind of 'hospital smell'.. haha.. But nothing of that sort.. So it was quite a gd experience. Our Medan grp went for the typhoid jab and some wanted Hep A vac. as well and that was pretty painful i heard. i didn't take any as i had typhoid earlier this yr hehehe.. Doubt i can even take cos of my nose!

Okie nothing much today actually... And as usual simin poked fun at the duck race and our homes.. Ducks unite!!

Head bowed
Silently conforming
She exists
To survive
It's tough
She knows
But it doesn't matter
She's living today

I was reading this book "Dessert Flower" by Waris donno what. She was a nomad in Africa. It's kind of shocking to learn that female circumcision is still widely practised in Africa today.. They do it without the use of proper equipment and sanitary.

Scenario: A 6 yr old girl is being led by her mum in the early hours of the day to a place far from home. Reason being so that nobody can hear her scream. A gypsy met up with them and without any formal introduction (eg a handshake or greetings) starts to perform the circumcision. The girl sits on a stone, with her mum pinning her down. The gypsy spat on the blood-stained knife and cleans it. Using the same knife, she cuts her genital. Of cos, all is done while the girl is still conscious. After cutting, she uses thorns to poke thru the flesh so as to sewn up the gap. The whole process ended, with the girl being left with a matchstick-sized hole. Of cos, her pain is not over yet. It's a torture just to urine, other than the small size.. the salt in the urine will sting the fresh wound. She can't move about for fear of tearing the sewn-up flesh. So, her mum ties her legs just in case, and she has to lie in a tent made for her, alone. But she's fortunate. One of the few who survives.

Maybe it's their culture. But maybe, it's done for the men. So that they can have more pleasure during intercourse. The females on the other hand, can nv experience organsm. The worst part is while giving birth, the baby would have to squeeze thru the small hole and sometimes, will get suffocated inside the body. That's not the end.. now the hole will have to be sewn back again. How sad. Most of the time they just oblige. Ya, that's the situation in Africa and some middle eastern countries. Hopefully there will be more feminists.

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today was a very full day.. Did PW presentation rehearsal in school. Pathrose thot it was much better. Kk at least has a little assurance.. Just dont 'rock' too much haha.. Oh ya went shopping with my mum after that hehe.. She was so nice. Keep wanting to buy stuff for me.. but i didn't wanna let her spend so much.. I mean.. she's the kind who'll sacrifice herself for me... so no matter what's her situation, she'd still want the best for me. So everytime when we go shopping, she'd always go look at my stuff.. Like just now, i felt quite not right when she kept asking me if i want this or that.. So i ask her if she has anything to buy for herself.. She said she doesn't need any... But i am sure she has la. Just that, she'd always put me and my bro first.. touched. ='( So i've made up my mind to buy her a diamond ring with my first proper salary.. shhh don tell her. =P
Anyway, bird called and told me to join her for our friend's mum funeral after the shopping.. I was the only un-2B person among them haha.. But it's okie la i didn't feel out.. I think my friend's really strong inside. Though he wore a sad look, he was still hospitable and friendly. I do feel some pinch too. His mum used to work at the school's canteen and i liked her salad. But well, there's a season for everything.. a time to live, a time to die... a time to sow, a time to reap..

Hope he won't be too affected for his pw presentation later..
Have to reach early for pw presentation too.. Very excited, knowing that after tmr, there's no more pw for my entire life. Hopefully.

Came back home to discover a new flat screen monitor!! =) so coOl right? In front of it was a note which reads:

You don't need any speakers for this computer because the monitor comes with an inbuilt speaker. Just turn on the switches and you can use it. Remember to keep the table clean at all times because you are the one who is using the computer.
Happy surfing.
William

My father!!! Awww... So nice right? =) I think i'm a spoilt brat HAHA..

haha i woke up late today. So late. 11:50! I don't remember pressing down the alarm.. But maybe I didn't even intended to go in the first place? Or maybe it's becos i was having a very nice dream which i can't remember too. Just hope Giap will forget about it and don't bug me for a MC.

Anyway, came out with this just now.. (thanks james for the inspiration)
Heal the schools
Make them a better place
For you and for me
And the entire student race.

And Damian adds on ...
There are students failing
If you care enough for their future
Make a better school for you and me

IT IS SO FUNNY! This is actually based on Michael Jackson's "Heal the World".
HAHA.. I see some really potential song writers hehehe... Does anyone wanna add on to the song? =P

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Can't believe it.. My grp and I did PW for almost HALF the day! Never in my entire life have i done this before... Never ever.. and don't want to anymore.. But anyway, we went to sylvia's house which is like a mini-mart la. so much food!! She showed me her storeroom and i was like "WOW!" all the food was stacked up and i was shocked la. HAha.. Anyway, we FINALLY completed our written report! YEAAA.. left another big obstacle to go.. i.e the oral presentation. OKie don't wanna think of it.. Zzz.. School later. Giap's lesson first.. Must be punctual, else pick litter. HAHA~ Wonderful teacher. LOL~ *claps*

I was just thinking.. if they wanna eradicate PW next yr.. i seriously don't mind a bit if they do so now even though we are completing it soon. Thinking of the oral presentation just make me kind of sick in the stomach la. Losing my qing cun day by day.. hahaha...

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Guess what? I just completed my project written report. This is madness. I have never felt so hardworking before, esp since it's only a project. This aside. Cell grp was so great just now. It was like a msg meant for me.. i felt really encouraged. God came and touched me, reassuring me that all things are possible with Him and that He will carry me thru. Okie that's all for now. Skipping lessons later. weE..

Lastest news: N256 has ben transfered to Service 5. Starting from this week.

Woo.. I like today. Went for the Medan trip meeting at Parkmall and met up with the rest of the Jamiya people. They are frm the children's home and are ard our age. So it wasn't really hard to communicate, just a little "barriered" at first. It was really interesting working with them cos it was my first encounter with such people. We played a few icebreaker games and they were very fun people actually. Looking forward to knowing them more. Bro jeff told me to be more sensitive towards them as they are not as fortunate as us. One thing I admire about them is that most of them can easily smile. One can't tell they're from a home. Well, maybe behind those smiles hide stories only they know. I'm in the welfare commitee (seems like i spelt wrongly again?) with 2 Jamiya girls. We are in charge of dealing with food, the do's and don's and a small useful language book. As there are alot of Muslims with us, we have to respect their way of doing things and have to observe some rules also. This makes me kind of self-conscious, fearing what I'm accustomed to doing may upset them. Well, this is just the beginning, there are even more rules over at Medan. but i think it'll be a very gd experience for me. Oh i am so looking forward to that. Hehe..

Oh ya and probably I'll be gg to thailand for a short trip too! Hehe.. with bro jeff and jason! At the moment both of them la. Cos Bro jeff fa da, so bring both of us there. hehehe.. so fun also! YEA~ 3 of us went for shopping and dinner after GP tuition hehe.. normally i'd feel awkward being with guys as in being the only girl with guys.. (which seldom/never happens la) but with them it's okie la. Just that sometimes guys and girls really can't flow. Then what to do? Don't flow lor.. Flow in my own peaceful river. haha.. But they are nice people la. =)

I was so happy when i got home! my father handed me a letter and it's from poetry.com!! But i was quite mad at him for scribbling some hp numbers at the back of the envelope. U may think i'm petty, but well, that mean quite a lot to me and though it's just an envelope but it is sth special to me. Well, the story goes like this, i happened to chanced upon this websitefew mths ago and saw that they were having a poetry competition. As i was feeling kind of bored, i "playfully" submitted one of my poems. Never did i know, that that poem would be selected for publishing and will enter the final competition! PTL. I feel really happy as this is an international thing. But also quite upset at the same time becos the book costs US$49.90. This is a sad case. but nevertheless, i wanna thank all my very gd friends who are the inspiration for that poem. And btw, it's titled simply 'Friends' and are dedicated to all my gd friends. THANK YOU very much! =)

School later!! rested for 1 week plus, but i don miss school. I really mean it! I haven't ironed my U and haven't packed my bag. Worst thing, it's 2:45 now and i haven't slept.

PS: told you.. my brain's a unorganized lump. =P but there're so much things to talk about today.. and i haven't included my shopping with Jessie after the medan meeting! =( I didn't know where to fit in.. hehe.. But we had fun at carrefour. =P

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Oh i am finally a lil' tanned now. Hehe.. had volleyball training for the past 3 days.. and i survived! hehe.. sense of satisfaction. However muscles still aching. But nvm i like my tan now hehe.. But aiya soon will fade away. Cos my skin is easily whitenized. haha..

but anyway, i was serving stage ytd. I was so last minute informed about that so i didn't really have any mental prep, so kind of out of control when i came to know it. I actually freaked out. That's one thing bad about me la.. freak out easily. Call that low self-confidence, i donno. Svc was about money and wealth. and it kept reminding me that i have to go up stage later.. Ya so butterflies started to flutter in my stomach.. But seriously i don understand why. As in, i've been on stage for so many times.. moreover this time was only for a few seconds. maybe even less than 10. maybe diff situation reacts differently. Anyway, i went up late for offering.. and it was so obvious. Received the wrong signal and was also unaware of the new change.. sigh.. nvm if u don understand hehe.. But it was my first time up so.. still forgivable (is that the right spelling?) My spelling is so bad. I didn't know how to spell disasterous today. And that's a disaster. I think my mind's not functioning quite well now u know.. i just asked "Will you get sweaty palms if you hold someone's sweaty palm?" Engchang, thanks for laughing, but i still feel proud for asking that =P HAHA..

Oh ya i went out with minmin (simin la actually) today hehe.. it was enjoyable shopping with her. Cos she will give really direct opinion about stuff. Ah i like. We bought presents for our classmates hehe.. so broke now. haha it's kind of weird, a lot of my friends' bdays are saturated during this period. Hmm maybe 9 mths ago.. which is the start of the yr.. their parents wanted a new start.. (new yr new beginning.. haha sounds cliche) so they... erm.. hehe =) okie now i'm thinking too much. But sounds convincing? Hehe..

Training was so tough today! Cos it was conducted by the infamous Psycho Tay. He really lives up to his name.. some of us nearly puked and 1 puked. Gosh. I have never trained till so extreme before... But anyway, i think he can teach really well.. much better than our coach who always brings his chinese newspaper and read while we train.. Anyway, sorry birdie i didn't join you guys today.. was feeling kind of sick and headache... so didn't wanna bring down the atmosphere.. hope u had fun.

Sound so solemn. Hmm anyway don't u think the word 'solemn' looks weird? Weirdness. I can't seem to spell it all the time. Erm.. thanks Henry. Anyway ya.. i realized i have no 'haha's today... =( probably cos i have training again tmr.. at 8! It's such a torture sometimes.. Oh well..... *yawns*

<-I Like Me!!->
Thot of the moment: It's easier to be someone else. That's why i like original people. People who are true to themselves, who are proud to be who they are, despite the way they look, the level of intelligence they have, the possession they own. These are people who love themselves and that's the ultimate thing i think. =)

Open to any feedback.

know why i woke up so early? my irritating upperfloor neighbours are renovating their house. It is SO noisy. At first i thot my aircon has gone wrong.. but NO! It's them.. *yawns*... Level of tolerance greatly challenged today.. hehe.. Supposed to go to simin's hse today but dai an na can't make it and i have piano lesson also.. so.. have to reject her again.. Sigh. I really hope she doesn't mind cos I've been trying to invite her for svc. Anyway, Ballball, don't feel so sad okie.. at first i really don like my class also.. Some of them are really rebellious lor. but as time goes by, as i get to know them more, i found out that they are actually very nice people.. So takes time la k? =) Some more you're so lovable right? LOL.. Sure can make frends one la. =)

Thot of the moment: Everyone has their own unrevealed personality. It takes effort and time, and once again willingness to want to unveil someone.

Off to piano!

I was so loved today. Had 3 invitations to go out but had to turn down 1.. Sad, but can't satisfy everyone.. Went bugis with Cai! So long since i last saw her.. Completed her N, looking for job now.. any offer? hehe.. Had fun catching up lost times! It's so heartwarming to know that you have nice people to share your life with.. My schedule for the rest of this week is so packed. Gosh. But at least that keeps me alive. haha..

oh ya i wanna share about my parents suddenly. I have always like the way they bring me up. Since young, I've been given the luxury of making my own decisions and they have been very supportive of what i do. They may give suggestions but at the end of the day it's still very much up to me. I think this is so important as i don't like to be tied down and i believe in living your own life and not only to please others. As in, I don't like to live a life based on other people's expectation, as in living under the control of someone else. Of cos this doesn't apply to God. I fear God, I need Him. and i'm living under the loving arms of God. Well back to my parents, I can safely say that I have not been pressurized by them to do sth i don't want to. They may disagree on me giving too much to the church but at the end of the day, it's still up to me. But till now we still can't flow la in terms of this. It's okie la.. everyone's cool with it at least for now. Anyway, i think they are really fantastic. Able to tolerate all my nonsense for so many years and yet still loving me like i've been so guai. It's so true that " Love oversees a multitude of sins." Gosh, right now as I'm writing this, i feel God speaking to me.. If your parents can still love you so much despite you being bad, how much more is God's love for you.. Gosh. Feel like crying now. So touched. Thank you Jesus.

Thot of the day: Pretty girls and hunky guys are good to loOk at. They are easy to notice. However, it takes special eyes to see the beauty of the plainest person. Everyone can do that, it's a matter of willingness.

PS: Pardon me for my funny flow of thots hehe.. every paragraph is one world apart. I have one unorganized lump of brain. =P

I like my friends
they fill my life
I feel nice
just knowing i am their friend too
that out of the many people
we chose each other

Comment: This is so not poem-like, but it's just an expression of how grateful i am to have them
in my life and how important they are to me. THANKS! =)

Woo.. what a tremendous day. FUN! Told ya.. girls are so much fun. Went to makan at KennyRoger, the portion was BIG. Took lots of potos hehe.. Went to Esplanade, Ball and I were dancing to the strong Indian rhythm woO.. Sood see how she moved! or sood i say wobbled.. =P YEA bird is finally 17! HEhe.. Can watch NC16 together next time! Oh can't believe I am saying that. =P Yet to watch white chicks and chucky hehe.. Anyway, PInky and Ball was so OOC! Kept saying the wrong words hahaha.. I think i really must bring my notepad out everytime we meet, to compile a mini dictionary titled "OOC words" which only we can understand.. hehe.. So cool right?

I was telling Bro Jeff that... I find it hard to appreciate guys' company.. as in guys ard my age.. This is quite a bad thing i think.. as in, I don want to have this anti-guy attitude but at the same time i can't help but have. Seriously can't flow with them. Haha.. no wonder they say, Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. But maybe that applies to me only.. at least for now.. I prefer more mature men to.. better not say. haha.. Well if you know me long enough you'll know that i'm quite raw in my words at times.. not in terms of vulgarities.. but just that i speak out what my mind is thinking.. Which is good at times.. As in.. that's really what i really think/feel. But not to the extend of saying "you are ugly" I think i'm erm.. much more tactful than that la.. haha.. Feel free to tell me my mistakes, I am very open to that. I believe that we have a bigger/blatter (better actually =P) point of view outside the box, which in this case, is our own perspective.

I have thot of becoming a counsellor or a nurse. Well, some people may laugh when i tell them. It kind of gets on my nerves. Just that i don't show/tell. I believe that EVERYONE CAN BE WHOEVER THEY WANT THEMSELVES TO BE. They can laugh all they want i don't care. It's my life anyway, laughing won't change it. But it's kind of sick la? I mean shouldn't friends encourage each other and help each other to achieve their goals? Instead of pulling them down... And i also don't really like those who backstab. Gosh. even if it's not me, I'll be quite frustrated. So sometimes, i will just keep quiet. Don't have the courage to chup in. Like this case, my classmates were quitely discussing about why X could suddenly write so well for GP. They were doubting if that's even her own work. I guess they were unfortunate to invite me in for thediscussion. I was so mad at 1 of them, i just snapped "So what if that's her own work, and so what if that's not? It doesn't concern you right?" Okie, so he backed off.. mumbling something. Whatever. The point is, if that's her own work, then be happy for her that she has improved. If it's not her own work, at least she has learnt something out of that and try to improve herself next time. Thank God nobody told her about this incident.. or else she will be so sad. i mean who won't? I guess i was a lil' harsh, but i believe in speaking what i feel strongly about...

Thank God i have a lot of friends who are so nice. I feel really blessed. Those cases are a lil' extreme and surely are uncommon. Ya, just a lil' glimpse into the unseen aileen. =P

haha.. i donno what's got into me.. I've been shopping for 3 days straight.. Gosh. It's okie i think? Shopping can create BONDS with friends and actually can know so much more about the person. I donno why guys don't get this.. But nvm, guys and aileen just can't flow now.. haha.. this may raise some people's eyebrows since i don't have a bf before too =P but i'm STRAIGHT okie... guys are still likable la. Some especially hehe.. but i still prefer the girls' company =) Anyway, I'm so uptight about later! Celebrating bird's bday!!! HAPPY BDAY BIRDIE!!! She will be a cutie cute bird later.. hehehe.. must take potos! hehehe.. She sood also be the happiest bird later! Can't wait..! woO.

Aww my blog is so lack! hahaha.. Super duper! But nvm.. aiLeen is back again to revive it! I've been super duper blessed recently.. and oh ya.. i felt like the happiest girl today. The happiest thing was my friend was so blessed by the service just now and wanna come back again next week! PTL.. The happier thing is I am so blessed financially now! All the money came just in time to buy my friendsSsS bday gifts and for my own stuff. The thing is- don't be afraid to give the amount God wants you to give, knowing that only good (and more abundantly) will follow. And lastly the happy thing is Bro jeff gave me a small gift! It was so thoughtful of him.. *touched* So blessed to just have him in my life. Not to sound mushy or anything.. But he's really done a lot for me and gosh i can't ask for more. He's like one of my greatest gift God has given. OKie stop here.. hehe.. Oh ya i had so much fun with the girls just now.. bird and ball! Girls are more fun =P We can do silly things together w/o anyone judging.. Silly things like.. taking each other's pictures and laughing at them. hahaha.. we can do it so well. woO still can't get enough of shopping hehe.. still have a long list. woO. Well that's all for today! Think i'm going to have the sweetest dreams tonight! =)

I think I'm such a softie sometimes... I thought I was tough after going through much... But sometimes some things can just easily make me cry. I don't think it has very much to do with my hormones or mood swings.. really.. But more to knowing that I am in a helpless situation where I know I must do something but I don't know how.. be it for myself.. or for others.. And whenever I see a fight (physically), i'll just cling on to anyone beside me.. except for strangers la.. Ya.. involuntary action.. Maybe I should get out of my well and adapt more to this corrupted world..

I made a new friend
His name was Joel
It was not planned
But it turned out well

Haha ya I was mugging with my friend yesterday for bio paper today.. we were discussing and suddenly this guy on the next table turned to us and asked if we need any help.. Before that I saw him looking at our direction quite a few times.. But I was shocked when he suddenly spoke to us.. My heart literally jumpped a little.. But he was really nice, very helpful. We asked him about some Bio stuff, man, he knew a lot. Later we talked a little and found out that he is in NUS yr 3 AND! he was an old boy in JJ. Haha.. COol right? I was touched erm no.. moved.. erm.. surprised maybe, that he even stayed with us till 11:30 to help us. Wah good samaritan. PTL. =)